While working on a Ph.D. in medieval literature at Columbia University in New York City during the time of World War II and the Holocaust of millions of Jews – God’s Chosen People – I had a profound faith loss! There was a religious Sister in my Dante class and I went to her for help. Seeing her deep faith, I asked her to pray for me. One day in my room I went down on my knees and wept as the Lord came to me, restored my faith profoundly, and drew me back to the Church and its Sacraments. The Lord Jesus Christ became the center of my life. Soon I began to make private vows as a religious Sister, and in 1972 as a Franciscan Disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ.

How would she express her life as a religious?
Living the vows of chastity, poverty and obedience and our promise of fellowship in the Spirit keeps me fervent in the loving presence of the Lord whose faithful presence and grace enable me to grow deeply united with Him and my Sisters in our Franciscan Community, Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Words of encouragement:
Try always to remain faithful to the Lord through prayer, the Sacraments, the Scriptures, and persevere in whatever you feel that He is (or has been) calling you to do in your life. His grace is always sufficient. He will enable you – if you will let Him.l until He reveals Himself.”

Growing up in a small town in Nebraska, Linda was not afraid to be different from her peers. The vibrant faith of her family was the ideal setting for the seed of a religious vocation to grow. She was not afraid to practice her faith, or to open herself to a vocation as a religious. She was 19 when she answered God’s call.

Linda Kay Lukasiewicz was born in Grand Island, Nebraska and baptized a few weeks later. She was the second of four children, and her family lived on a farm in Farwell, Nebraska.

A combination of many influences led her to respond to a religious vocation. She attended a Catholic school until the sixth grade in a neighboring small town, where a favorite priest and religious sister greatly inspired her. They taught her how to listen to the voice of God through reading the Scriptures, how to impart God’s love, and especially how to be a happy servant of God.

During her grade school years, both of Linda’s parents made a Cursillo. There were noticeable changes in their faith as a result of their Cursillo retreat experience, and this also had an impact on their children. Her parents became more spiritual and both lovingly served in their parish church.

Another source of great inspiration to Linda was her grandmother, who exemplified the Christian walk. From her grandmother, Linda learned a deep prayer life and how to have faith in God.

At age 17, Linda began to hear of and experience charismatic prayer meetings and Baptism in the Holy Spirit. It was in this time of preparation for Confirmation that Linda received a call in her life. She began to hear the Lord’s voice leading her in the direction of religious life. In her heart, she knew she needed to respond. There was always that voice that spoke to her heart, beckoning her to come. In the process of discernment, she immersed herself in the Sacraments and sought counsel from a couple of priests and religious. She had incredible support from her parents and her family. Saying ”yes” to the Lord in the religious life was a fulfillment of her baptismal call.

Soon afterward, Linda heard a religious sister speak at her parish church. This sister was speaking at Full Gospel Businessmen’s breakfasts and charismatic conferences. Linda went forward for prayer from this sister. When Linda told her about her vocational call, the sister told her about the Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ and gave her a community brochure. Linda came to the Disciples at age 19, and received the name Sister Lucy as a novice. She professed her first vows in 1984, and her final vows in 1988. She was elected Superior General for six years on January 21, 2002.

Mother Lucy’s greatest joy is praising the Lord and bringing people to a deeper realization of a great God who has a plan for their life. Her heart says, ”Lord, I am your servant. I have come to do Your will.”

She comes from the central part of Mexico, a beautiful place close to the sleeping volcanoes in Toluca, Mexico. After being part of a youth prayer group and having participated in several National Youth Charismatic Conferences she saw those Sisters that had a cross hanging on their belt, she picked up some literature but did not have the courage to talk to them. The thought was haunting her, she could be called to be a Disciple. The next Conference was coming, she made up her mind she needed to find the Sisters and share with them her desires. During the Conference she looked at all the vocational stands and was so disappointed the Sisters were not there. At the final mass she gave God and ultimatum: “if you really want me to become a Disciple this is your last chance.” The bus with all from her prayer group was about really to leave, she got out to get a snack and as she was crossing the street – there before her eyes – two Sisters Disciples were crossing the street, too!

After the excitement of seeing the Sisters, she shared her desire to know more about them. The Sisters gave her the contact information and she left. That was the beginning of God’s response and her heart jumped to know that He was leading her on the way that will bring most joy to her heart.

She is currently in temporary vows and is serving in our house in Mexico.

For any school-aged child, moving from one home to another, and having to change schools and friends can be very difficult. Raised in a military family, Pam attended four different elementary schools and three high schools. For a time, she drifted from the Lord and her Catholic faith. The Good Shepherd sought her and brought her back.

Pam Birdsall was born in Battlecreek, Michigan, the eldest of three daughters. She attended Catholic schools and was taught by sisters from different religious communities.

Pam first thought of a religious vocation through the example of the sister who taught her in the third grade. Later, her eighth grade teacher, Sr. Stella Marie, helped keep her faith on course as she neared adolescence.

Entering high school, Pam strayed from God in her mind. She was trying to find her own place in life, instead of doing what others told her to do. At the time, she was attending high school in Germany, and would attend a second high school there before graduating from Roosevelt High in San Antonio, Texas. She attended mass during these years as an obligation.

After high school, Pam worked in sales and did other office work. She continued the pattern she learned as a child of moving to a different location every few years. An uneasy restlessness filled her soul, and she left the church and the practice of her faith. At the time, she was working as a teacher’s aide in an elementary school. Her life began to deteriorate, just like the Scriptural house built on sand.

After ten years of being away, the mother of the teacher that she aided evangelized Pam back into the church. She invited Pam to attend prayer meetings, and Pam soon received the grace of the Baptism in the Holy Spirit. Pam felt the embrace of the Lord, and she went to Confession as soon as she could.

This same friend encouraged Pam to think about a religious vocation, and initially Pam resisted the idea. Over time, the Lord began to speak to Pam of the call that was with her since grade school. She spent much time in prayer at the Poor Clare Monastery in Roswell, New Mexico.

Pam was earnestly seeking the Lord for inspiration for a community to enter, and she did the hard work of reading about communities and writing to them. It was at the prayer meeting that her inspiration would get clearer, as the leader of the prayer group did not give his usual teaching, but instead read an article on praise from Praise Him! Pam contacted the Disciples the next day, and she entered the community in 1984, at age 33. She received the name Sr. Anthony as a novice, and professed her first vows in 1986 and her perpetual vows in 1990. She encourages all that are discerning a vocation, ”If you are struggling with life and wandering, the Lord is always going to take you back, and then, hang on!”

I felt the call to religious life at the age of seven, but I did not fully understand it. I just knew I would never get married. As a child, I was very inspired by the lives of the saints and I wanted to do something great for God!

When I was 18 years of age, again I sensed God’s invitation to religious life but I was not ready to respond. Instead, I went to college to become an Occupational Therapist. Then I got a job working with children with learning disabilities.

I enjoyed my career but I felt something was missing in my life. Soon, I met the man I thought I would marry. At the same time I met some Sisters from Prayer Town, Texas. For the next three months, I experienced spiritual confusion. I decided to take time apart for a retreat to discern God’s plan for my life. During that time, God spoke clearly to my heart saying, “As for you, you will be happier as a religious than married.”

I trusted that convicting word and took the step in faith to join the Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Now, after 30 years of religious life, I can say God has been very true to His promise. I have never been happier!

“I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall be continually in my mouth.”
(Ps. 34:1)

Born and raised in the Twin Cities, MN, I am the oldest of 3 children in my family. My earliest memories growing up are of my parents reading bedtime Bible stories, and attending Mass each Sunday and on holy days. I am blessed to have Catholic parents and a Church community who taught me about our faith, and about my vocational options. As a girl, my Mom taught me to have a daily prayer time, talking with Jesus, beginning 5-10 minutes each day, and Dad encouraged me to read the Bible. As my relationship with Jesus grew slowly, I remember praying for a life of adventure and mystery, and asking, “Lord, I will enter the vocation you want for me, only let my heart desire what You want.”

My faith came alive more fully during high school after attending Discipleship Week retreats hosted by NET Ministries. During college, as I took a year off from school to serve with NET myself, we ended up at Prayer Town for one week, helping the Sisters with service projects, because our retreats had been cancelled. That week I felt at-home during the prayer meeting, and working with the Sisters at Prayer Town, and joining one of their retreats. It took several years more for me to realize I was being called to religious life.

Through my involvement with St. Paul’s outreach Household program, community life became important to me. During their formation program on discernment, I felt the Lord telling me it was time to get serious about my discernment. I prayed the boldest prayer I’ve ever prayed, “Lord, if you’re asking me to discern religious life, I will, but I need the money, the opportunity where I won’t miss too much school, and an open invitation.” That very evening the phone rang and a Sister invited me to a Come and See retreat that fit exactly into my Spring Break! I received the money I needed from my Dad, and was set to visit. I had, however, a list of hesitations why this couldn’t work- “How can I live a healthy life if the Sisters live off of donations? Will I be able to exercise? How can I use my gifts? Isn’t it just boring to sit and pray all day?”

During my short stay at Prayer Town, the Lord answered every one of my doubts with assurance that I had a completely mistaken idea of what religious life was. He would provide for each of these needs. But most importantly, I felt a deeper peace in prayer than ever before, and the Lord seemed to say, “This is going to be your new home.” I went home feeling overwhelmed, but certain of my next step. I found a spiritual director, moved into a discernment house with other women also discerning their call.

I made plans to pay off my student loans, and spent my last year in the world working again in the faith-filled environment of NET, bringing my discernment full circle. The Lord gave me such clarity that I was certain I was following His voice. Religious life has been the greatest adventure and mystery I could have asked for! Jesus has called me to be His Bride, and fulfilled the deepest desires of my heart.

I was blessed to have grown up in a large, devout Catholic family. The seed of my religious vocation was nurtured by parents who sent me to a Catholic elementary school and who made sure I attended Mass every Sunday. During high school, college, and my teaching career, my heart’s desire was to get married and have a large family. However, through many different experiences as time went on, I slowly realized that God was calling me to religious life. I finally surrendered and said “yes” to religious life. God led me to this Community and here I still am today.

Favorite Quote
“Be not afraid, I go before you always. Come follow Me and I will give you rest.” and “With God all things are possible.”

Most Special Moment
During the Mass when I made my perpetual profession of vows of poverty, chastity and obedience before my family, my religious community and my Church community.

Words of Encouragement
Pray, pray, pray. It is very important to have daily prayer time and to be faithful to keeping that time of prayer every day. I would encourage young people who are discerning and/or living out their call to find a spiritual director or a vocation director who can help guide and support them as they discern their vocation. Also I would like to encourage them to find others in their age group who are also discerning their vocation so that they can have fellowship with each other and encourage each other in their vocational journey.

Coming soon!

Born in Seoul, Korea, Sister Juana Teresa grew in her Catholic faith by the help and encouragement of her mother and grandmother who were newly introduced to the faith. As new born babies in Christ they are filled with great zeal and love for God. Even as a little child she knew that God had a unique and special plan for her life. Her becoming a Sister was a response of love.

It all began at the family baptism. Helen Chung was three when she was baptized along with her mother, grandparents and infant brother. Even at this age she knew that God had a special and unique plan for her life. Later, when the family moved to Paraguay due to business, her father also sought to be baptized. Her mother’s involvement in the Legion of Mary, and her grandmother’s love for Jesus and Mary helped her to know that God could speak to her, and she could answer, ”I am His.” Following her baptism she developed a close relationship with Jesus.

Helen was ten when the family left Korea for Paraguay. There she attended a convent school. During her first year as a teen she desired to join the convent inspired by some of her friends who were novices. However, her mother saw her daughter’s desire as something that would have to wait, believing her to be too young for this.

Once again the family immigrated; this time to live closer to relatives in Canada. It was difficult for Helen to leave her good friends behind. She finished her last two years of high school at a Catholic school in Toronto, Canada where she received the sacrament of Confirmation. She had another deep and personal encounter with God through the baptism in the Holy Spirit. The loneliness she felt at leaving her friends helped her to seek God even more. Again she felt the desire to become a Sister. She got involved in a youth Charismatic prayer group in her parish and had friends who went to Pentecostal churches.

At age eighteen, Helen attended a Charismatic Conference when she asked the Lord to confirm if He was calling her to a religious vocation, because she felt so unworthy of it. The Lord honored her prayer when Bishop Sam Jacobs, the conference speaker, said in his talk, ”No one is worthy, but it is God who calls us.” When she heard this she wasted no time in responding to his altar call for vocations and knew that it was God who was calling her to be a Sister. She began to follow this call by visiting different religious communities in Canada and the U.S. During this process she learned about our community. In 1991 Helen attended a conference where Mother John Marie was speaking. She fell in love with the way of life she saw lived by our Sisters.

In October of 1992, she came to our community and received the name Sister Juana Teresa when she entered the novitiate in June of 1993. She made her perpetual profession of the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience in October 2000. She joyfully exclaims, ”It is worth it all to leave all for Him! We must courageously follow God’s will until He reveals Himself.”

Raised in a large Catholic family, Rosita was blessed with the foundation for a strong faith. Although her family was poor, her parents instilled in her the value of an education. After her accounting course, Rosita made the decision to be a Bride of Christ.

Rosita Gapasin was born in Paniqui, the Philippines, the seventh child of eleven. Her family’s strong faith influenced her greatly. She was baptized at 2 months and confirmed a few months later. Her father had a small business to provide for his children’s education.

Rosita first thought about a religious vocation when she met sisters at her parish at age seven. Traveling lay catechists taught at her public school, and soon she received her first Communion. Her family did not have transportation, so they would walk the forty minutes to early mass on Sundays. She was always eager to go to mass, especially during the special liturgies of the Christmas Novena and Holy Week.

Taught by Dominicans in high school, Rosita challenged herself to get good grades, and she graduated as salutatorian. She wanted to be able to help her family by her education. Her time was also given to working with her siblings in the family business. After high school, Rosita studied accounting at the University of the East in Manila. Although her life was so fully into studies, friends, and other activities, her faith was not as strong as before and she felt empty inside.

At 18, her vocational calling and her faith were re-enkindled when she became involved in a Christian communities program on campus. She experienced the grace of the baptism in the Holy Spirit. A Scripture she received was, ”Come now, let us set things right.” (Is. 1:18) She was touched so deeply that she was hungry for more of God and attended many retreats and outreaches.

At this time, she began to visit different convents in the Philippines. At 20, just a semester before finishing her accounting course, she joined the Dominicans who taught her in high school. It was hard for her to leave the university environment, but God was calling her to dedicate her life to Him and with that call to serve others. Her joy was in teaching catechism in rural areas, as she had been taught.

Rosita learned about the Disciples through Praise Him! In 1984, while on a visit with her family in North Carolina, she came to visit our community. After discerning, she left the Dominicans and entered the Disciples in 1985, receiving the name Sr. Juliana as a novice. She rejoiced to be able to express her charismatic gifts more freely. She professed her first vows in 1986, and her final vows in 1990. Sr. Juliana shares, ”God’s call demands a radical and generous response, but He gives the grace to respond and persevere.”

During my junior of High School I encountered God’s love for me in a powerful way. After that I decided to follow Him and I became very involved in my youth group. This opened the way for me to go on a retreat called “Going Deeper”. It was on this retreat that I began to desire to live for the Lord completely and to be His. I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant. On the last day of the retreat, after Mass was over, the Friar who was celebrant invited anyone who was discerning a vocation to the priesthood or religious life to come forward. Deep in my heart I felt this tug, but I had no clue what religious life was because I never met a Sister in my life. So I ignored the tug, however, the tug never ignored me.

Senior year continued, I graduated and chose to go to St. Francis University in Loretto, PA. The Lord took my hand and led me again to attend the Freshman retreat. It was here that I met some Sisters who were present to us during the retreat, shared their testimonies, and a little about religious life. Also, one of the staff members of our campus ministry was a Sister, so I was able to ask questions and observe what religious life is. I had no excuse now, I couldn’t ignore the tugging of my heart.

During the course of my freshman year, I was introduced to the Charismatic renewal through our prayer group on campus. Once again, I experienced the tremendous love of God in my life, in a new way which opened my heart even more to the call. I kept asking the Lord to increase the desire of my heart if He was really calling me to be a religious, and if not to decrease the desire. Throughout the remainder of my first semester that desire continued to increase and so I began to seek out different communities.

It was May of 2007, that I made my first visit to Prayer Town. The first evening walking around the grounds my heart just was on fire, and I felt like I was at home. I never experienced such peace before, I had a strange feeling this was the community God was calling me to. However, I needed to finish college. It was very agonizing to have to wait another three years, but in those three years the Lord really lead me to deepen my relationship with Him and to prepare me for entering.

August 25, 2010 fresh out of college, I followed the Lord and entered the Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ. God fulfills every desire of our hearts, we just have to be patient and follow the Lamb wherever He goes.

“Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.” ~St. Pio will until He reveals Himself.”

She entered the Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ in 1993 from Stow, Ohio. She was raised in a loving Catholic family. She has a large and loving extended family for which she is very grateful.
Prior to entering the community she earned a bachelor’s degree in social work and a master’s degree in library science. For 20 years she was part of a lay community which emphasized the renewal of Catholic family life and evangelization. The focus was to have Catholic families who
are “saints, missionaries and the stuff martyrs are made of.”
Before coming to the community she attended one of the community’s “Come and See” vocation retreats. At the “Come and See”, Mother John Marie, the foundress, gave a talk in which she said she could only promise the cross to those who entered. She also said tell everyone everywhere the story of the cross. It spoke to Sr Maria Crucis and Mother John Marie later gave her the name which means “Mary of the Cross.”

“You will show me the path to life …” (Psalm 16: 11).

Sister Mary Gianna never imagined God would call her to religious life.  She was not raised Catholic, or any religion.  It was during some of the most difficult moments of her life, after surviving the tragedy that took place at her high school, that she came to believe in God and that He had a plan for her life.

Jenica Thornby was born in Houston, TX to loving parents.  At the age of three, her and her family moved to California, and then to Colorado at the age of 11.  She is the youngest of two.  At her birth, she was given the name Jenica, which she would later come to find out means, “God is gracious.”  However, growing up without any faith at the time, she struggled with some of the most basic questions concerning human life, including what life was about, who she was, and what she was living for.

Jenica’s life changed forever when she was 16 years old.  She was a sophomore at Columbine High School on April 20th, 1999, the day two of her schoolmates opened fire killing 12 students, one teacher, and wounding 23 others.  Jenica narrowly escaped being in the library, the center of the tragedy, when an inner prompting urged her to leave school that day just minutes before the shooting, instead of going to the library to study as she normally did.  She wondered, “What made me leave school that day?  I always went to the library.”  She remembers being told, “God must have a plan for your life!”

Immediately, she believed God existed, but not really knowing who this God was and how to deal with everything that happened, and still wanting to fit in, she turned to many other things.  Yet everything only seemed to leave her feeling more empty, longing for more.  One thing after another happened, and by her senior year, she hit rock bottom.  She felt she had lost all hope.

It was during this most difficult time of Jenica’s life, that she was led to Saint Frances Cabrini Catholic Church, where a wonderful faith community reached out to her.  Among them were two exceptional youth ministers, Kate and Jim.  Kate shared with her about a God who passionately loved her.  As Kate shared the message of the Gospel with her, she felt God’s love pour through Kate, and she realized that all her life she had been longing to know God and His love.  She came to know the words of Saint Augustine, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.”  Jenica decided she wanted to become Catholic and give her life to Christ.  She wanted to discover what God’s plan was for her life.  Jim suggested she go to Franciscan University where she would be immersed in the Catholic faith.  During her freshmen year, she went through RCIA and was welcomed into the Catholic Church on March 30, 2002.  She was baptized, confirmed, and received first Holy Communion all at the Easter Vigil.

Over the years, Jenica has thought a lot about the terrible tragedy that took place at her high school and how God has worked in her life.  The story of Rachel Joy Scott has significantly impacted and inspired her life.  Before Rachel’s life was taken, she was asked by one of the gunmen if she believed in God.  Jenica was amazed how passionate Rachel was about her faith and wondered what she would have said.  Jenica came to realize that just as Rachel was able to say “Yes!” and die for Christ, she can say “Yes!” and live for Him.  As Jenica has said “Yes!” to God and His plan for her life, she has been deeply amazed how He has led, guided, and worked in her life.

During the year of 2006-2007, Jenica had the opportunity to spend a year with NET (National Evangelization Teams) Ministries, traveling across the country putting on retreats for middle school and high school students.  Her team leader encouraged her to be open to religious life.  She told her she was open, but felt God was calling her to marriage and family life.  Deep down she knew she did not need to worry about her vocation.  She believed God, in His timing, would allow everything to fall into place as she continued to say “Yes” to Him and remain faithful to Him.

During the summer of 2008, Jenica experienced a deep healing and an outpouring and release of God’s love in her life.  She had a sense this was going to be a great year.  One day, she was sitting in Mass, at the Cathedral of Saint Paul, in Saint Paul, MN, and prayed that God would help her enter into Mass in a way she had never experienced before.  God answered her prayer.  It was during Mass, at one point, she looked up and felt so profoundly God’s presence before her.  She felt He was calling her to be His bride, to love Him with an undivided heart, and to lead others to experience His love.  From that moment on, her desire was for religious life.

As Jenica took time to discern where God was calling her, she felt called to a religious community that was Franciscan, charismatic, contemplative, and missionary.  While visiting the Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, in Prayer Town, TX, she experienced so much peace and felt she was home.  She felt this was where God was calling her to respond to His grace and calling.

Before entering religious life, Jenica spent nine months at the Emmanuel School of Mission in Rome where she continued to go deeper in her faith and had opportunities for mission in Italy, Scotland, Ireland, and France.  From there she entered the Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ on August 25, 2010.  She received the name Sister Mary Gianna, after Our Lady of Grace and Saint Gianna Beretta Molla, as a novice and made her first profession of vows on August 10, 2013.  Sister Mary Gianna continues to be amazed at God’s great love and mercy, and how He continues to work.

Growing up in Tanzania, Africa, I felt a call to religious life. Since I was still 12 years old, I knew I had to wait. I began discerning more seriously when I was studying at a university. With much prayer and the help of spiritual director, the Lord made it clear that He was calling me to become a Franciscan. I came to know which community God was calling me to join. He connected me with someone who translated for the Sisters in their mission to Tanzania in the previous year. Through her help I was able to contact the community and entered in 2007.

Words of Encouragement
I want to encourage those who are discerning their call or already living outtheir call to:
• Detach yourselves from your own will. It may be difficult because we tend to cling to our own will, but with God’s help, this is possible.
• Be completely open to God’s will in your daily lives and in the future. We are at peace when we do His will.
• Immerse yourselves in prayer, seeking to know His plan for your lives. This may take time but, God does not delay. He has a perfect time for everything. Persevere in prayer, wait for the Lord, and be stouthearted. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”(Mt. 7: 7)
• Seek the help of a competent spiritual director.
• Go to different sources of information like websites and others and make an actual visit – convent, seminary,etc. in order to properly discern your vocation in life. God is pleased when we diligently seek His will.

Originally from Vietnam, Sister Michael Marie came to the US when she was in high school. Her family ended up in Oklahoma City in an area with many other devoutly Catholic Vietnamese. She and her family overcame many obstacles, including learning a new language and culture. Her strong faith is evident.

Sister Michael Marie is a temporary professed Sister. She serves our Community as head of the kitchen. In addition, Sister works with the Vietnamese youth in a local parish, Our Lady of Vietnam in Amarillo. Her smile and joy are contagious.

As a young child I saw religious in habit, and as other girls thought of wedding dresses, I thought of habits. I saw such beauty and wonder. I was drawn to religious sisters. When I was 17 I had a radical encounter with the Holy Spirit and God’s powerful love. My response was to seek His will for my life. So I asked the Lord to show me. As I sought the Lord in prayer, the excitement I had as a child about sisters was enkindled and I was open to the vocation to the consecrated life. After discerning different communities I joined the Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ in 2006. The main draw to the DLJC was our charismatic spirituality and personal relationship with God.

Most Special Moment
One is, getting to see Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI at World Youth Day in Australia as a novice. Secondly, is when I was lying prostrate during the Litany of the Saints during my final vows, before God, my Community, family and friends.

Words of Encouragement
What comes to mind is the scripture which says, “God is faithful,” He is the one who calls, if it is His will there will be grace upon grace. Do not be afraid. God wants your happiness.